Wedding Rudeness and Choosing Your Wedding Date

Wedding Rudeness and Choosing Your Wedding Date

I was driving to work the other day when the best wedding discussion happened to come on the radio. The topic had to do with wedding rudeness and choosing your wedding date. The day’s discussion came from a bride who was writing in for advice. She had received criticism from guests and wedding party attendants for planning her wedding on a Friday. The bride had been labeled as ‘rude’ for planning her wedding on a day when guests would have to take time off of work.

This subject couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. There I was, driving to work with my car full of hair products, makeup, dresses, and shoes, because I was going to a friend’s wedding that evening in Lake Tahoe. Although it was not Friday. It was Thursday. Yup, I would get ready after work, head from Reno to Lake Tahoe for their wedding, drive home, and go to work the next day.

I thought what a perfect discussion for the blog today! Lots of brides and guests deal with this situation. Let’s take a look at all sides of the predicament.

It’s My Day

Many people believe that your wedding is YOUR DAY and no one else’s.  You should be able to do what you want and everyone should have to accommodate you. It's your big day, your wedding budget, and your decision. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without worrying about having to make every single guest happy with your choices.

You’re So Rude

How could you as a bride possibly schedule your wedding on a day that would force people to take their vacation? Some guests believe that a wedding should be planned around them and their work schedule. Many times they are already paying travel costs, wedding gifts, and attire if they are part of the wedding party. Asking to take more days off than what is needed might be viewed as rude.

The Reality

Here is my opinion on the subject. I do not think it is rude at all for a bride and groom to choose what day they want for their wedding. You are allowed to have it on whatever day of the week you want, but you have to be okay with the consequences of this. This might mean that some of your guests will choose not to come. Maybe they don’t want to take their vacation time off for your day or perhaps it is too difficult for them to plan a mid-week wedding. And that’s okay! The people who can make it will be there to celebrate with you and it will still be wonderful. You will never be able to choose a day that works for everyone, so pick a day that works for you and be okay with the fact that not everyone is going to be able to come.

There are lots of opinions and ideas out there about what should and should not happen for weddings. In case you want some more insight, here are a few quotes I got from some amazing wedding bloggers and their thoughts on the subject.

"For brides dealing with this similar question for their wedding date, I say It's your wedding so you do it where and when you want to.  We made the decision to do what was convenient for us and our family if they are complaining about the date and taking off work then they shouldn't be going anyway.  If they love and care about you then they will go where ever or whenever you are celebrating.  It's that simple." Pretty Pear Bride

"People (online) told us that we were rude to schedule our wedding for a long holiday weekend. However, we had very important to us people coming in from all of the world who specifically requested that we hold the wedding at this time (so they could avoid taking extra time off work). I think that when it comes to weddings, people are always going to find SOMETHING to complain about." Kiss My Tulle

"With regards to destination weddings I think it's actually better to schedule it over a long holiday weekend because of travel time etc." Burnett's Boards